I'm sure everyone with children over the age of 10 has had more than their fair share of "what happened???" moments when facing the reality of your kids growing up. It feels as if five minutes have passed since I was wiping Slime out of my sons Barney pajamas and now I look over at him (now 21) while we're watching the Olympics and he's finishing up a Heinekin Dark Label. Less than three minutes ago we were throwing away the 6,718th Barbie doll head that our little girl had left on the floor and our dog had chewed up and now she's about to get her Driver's Permit.
WTH ???? I want to shake my fists heavenward and cry, "BUT I'M NOT FINISHED YET !!!!" To no avail, I realize, but it just makes me feel so helpless. There's still so much to tell them, protect them from, to reward them for.... yet, they don't want us to do those things for them anymore (well, maybe they still want the rewarding part.....ie: $$). "Big D" and I find it perplexing that, despite the fact that they have two adults (with resources {meager, YES, but resources, nonetheless}, love, guidance, advice and a modicum of social tools) willing to shower them with all we can offer...... they'd rather scuffle along on their own with only a polite nod in our direction from time to time. Ok, sometimes the nod isn't even polite.
I'm enjoying the "letting go" part of being a parent.... (IT HURTS - MAKE IT STOP!!!!) watching them branch out into the world on their own, while still coming back to the nest for recharging (and lots of cuddling) but at the same time, I find it boggling that as much as we let go and resolve ourselves to the fact that THEY DON'T WANT ALL OF THE HELP with the "Growing Up", they still scratch and push so the "Letting Go" happens at a speed similar to that of the X-15 rocket-powered aircraft instead of a speed that would more suit us, as parents.
Then.... it happens.
I remember how I scratched and pushed (and bit and kicked and smacked and clawed and spit and cried) to get my parents to let go. (Yes, I was a challenge.) And I remember all of the bumps and scrapes I suffered along the way. Indeed, listening to my parents would've saved me a lot of heartache and money, but I did manage to live through it. (And, miraculously, so did my parents.)
Today, I'm praying for the ability to keep my mouth shut. Stop laughing - all of you. Everyone who knows me knows how impossible how much of a challenge that is for me. But I'm trying. This is the most challenging stage of parenting for me so far - not being entirely sure when you're offering too much, and when to step up and offer without being asked (cause they NEVER ask). I'm sure many of you have had this same dilemna in your parenting as well....and I know all four of us will live through it. But sometimes it just feels endless. Oil and water.
I'm hopefully awaiting the time when what is now "oil and water", turns back into the nicely tossed salad that it once was. Each of us uniquely their own, but working together to make a wonderfully interesting, tasty mix of insanity. Wait..... I think that might STILL BE what we are....... maybe if I remind the kids of how well we all work together when EVERYONE COOPERATES and how well we all get along when EVERYONE JUST DOES WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO DO..... but instead, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut.
This time.
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